OKC is going to win this series because Mitt Romney is rooting for the Jazz

Things look pretty grim for the Oklahoma City Thunder. After winning game 1 of their first round series against the Utah Jazz, the Thunder have lost 3 straight games and are now on the brink of elimination. But in the 2nd quarter, a glimmer of hope appeared.

Your eyes aren’t deceiving you: that’s Mitt Romney, former Presidential candidate and person who lives in Utah when it’s politically convenient, taunting Russell Westbrook for accumulating his 4th personal foul in the 2nd quarter.

You are probably wondering two things: Why is the former governor of Massachusetts hanging out at a Utah Jazz basketball game, and what does any of this have to do with the Thunder’ chances in this series? I will answer both of these questions by giving you a quick tour of Mitt Romney’s political history, a history littered with L’s.

1994 Massachusetts Senate Race

Williard “Mitt” Romney, born in Michigan but having lived in Massachusetts his entire adult life, decided to run for Senate against long-time incumbent Ted Kennedy. Despite taking an early leads in the polls, Mitt is no match for the last of the Kennedy Brothers, losing 59%-41% in the general election.

Result: Swept in 4 games. L.

2002 Massachusetts Governor’s Race

Eight years later, Romney decides to run again, this time for Governor. It’s a tight race, but he pulls it out! This will be the first and only time he wins elected office

Result: A rare victory for the Mitt-man.

2006 Governor’s Race

Facing low approval ratings in his home state, Romney decides not to run for re-election in 2006. His lieutenant governor, Kerry Healey runs instead and is crushed by Democrat Deval Patrick.

Result: Quit in the face of certain defeat. Still an L

2008 Presidential Election

Mitt decides to parlay his vast political experience and savvy into a run for President of the United States. He does well at first in the Republican Primaries, but eventually loses to eventual nominee John McCain, who goes on to lose comfortably to Barack Obama

Result: Much like Chris Paul, Mitt is unable to even get out of the second round. L

2012 Presidential Election

Eventually, Mitt wears the GOP down with his persistence. He wins the nomination, despite strong challenges from Rick Santorum, who hasn’t held elected office since 2006, and Newt Gingrich, who hasn’t held elected office since 1999. The general election campaign against President Obama is marked by a series of gaffes by Mitt, but after a strong performance in the first debate, he vaults into the lead! Alas, he blows his edge in the second and third debates, and Obama is re-elected.

Result: Blew a lead late in the game. L

2018 Utah Senate Election

Mitt retires to utah after losing in 2012, where he’s long had a residency (he helped run the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City). He gets the itch for politics again, and jumps into the Senate race. In Utah, the Republican party first holds a convention, where if one candidate gains 60% of the vote they automatically become the nominee; if not, a statewide primary will be held. Last weekend, just as the playoffs were heating up, Mitt was narrowly beaten at the convention by little known State Representative Mike Kennedy. Since Kennedy failed to gain 60% of the vote, a primary between Kennedy and Romney will be held.

Result: Squandered home court advantage against a lower seed. Now must play a decisive game 7 just to reach the general election. Indeterminate.

That’s how Romney found himself at game 4 of the Jazz-Thunder series, trying to appeal to local voters with his love of sport. My point is this: No matter what you think of his politics, Romney is a frequent loser who’s been unable to win the big one. Now, his losing ways have infected the Utah Jazz, and it’s only a matter of time before the #RomneyCurse brings them to their knees.

Thunder in 7.