In October of 2014, Kevin Durant, Nick Collison, and Russell Westbrook set out to investigate the legend of The Robert Swift. Their whereabouts have been unknown since but their camera equipment was found. The following is what remains of the recordings.
Westbrook- "Tell me about the Robert Swift."
Goldstein- "Yes, that is…uh… really kind of a scary story. Me and my dad, at the time…I was a really little girl…we would go fishing up by the creek. I was on laying down on the leaves, you know watching the sky and the thinking about nachos, and all of the sudden I felt like something was near me. You know, kind of an eerie feeling. It was like a really tall 4 or 5, only his face had this hair on top of it, long…red…like something from 1994…and a shawl. He opened up the shawl and it was injuries, tattoos, and it smelled like Chinese food…and you could tell he wasn’t much of a threat on offense. Like a Perkins but pale and scary. He was really good in NBA 2k12, though."
Collison- "Damnit, Russ…I told you to bring the playbook with you. We have games to study for. Seriously."
Westbrook- "Why don’t you cry about it in a GQ guest article? The damn thing is just a post-it note that says ‘iso’ and another one that says ‘floppy, but only sometimes’. Chill out man."
Westbrook/Collison- "SHUT YOUR FACE KD."
Westbrook- "This is all my fault. I’m the one that forgot the playbook. I’m the one that wanted to find the Robert Swift. I didn’t know. I should have listened to Jimmy Goldstein…Scotty…I’m so sorry Scotty…tell Taylor Swift I think she’s awesomesauce…"
Crawford- "Don’t go in their boys, it’s bad mojo."
KD- "Joey Crawford?"
KD- "Did you just hear Collison?"
Westbrook- "Yeah, sounds like he’s…..it’s Lil B."
(inaudible speaking followed by a banding sound)
KD- "MY FOOT!"
Westbrook- "Quiet!….Collison? Is that you?"
At this point the camera cuts out. The whereabouts of the three remain unknown.