Beyond The Arc: Dallas does Anchorman, the Silnas are closed for business, and Durant hits the Danger Zone

Sorry for the lack of an awards post last week. The holiday season along with the sub-zero temperatures really screwed up my routine lately. Enough of the excuses and on to the never disappointing awards.

Golden Parachute Award - The Silna Brothers

Man oh man. Talk about a sweetheart deal. I will confess that before this week I had no knowledge of the ridiculous deal the Silna Brothers were able to get when the ABA and the St. Louis Spirits folded. If you are not a 100% sure on the tails (some people say the deets, but I say the tails) of this deal Sherman did a great job of doing so a few years ago during the lockout that you can read here. I am still trying to wrap my head around how this was not made a bigger deal over the years. I am shocked that Mikhail Prokhorov did not make us all aware of this deal. I am shocked that Prokhorov even agreed to go along with this and get put over the barrel like that. I mean this dude is Russian after all. Boyd Crowder would never let something like this happen to him. He would walk into the commissioners off with his amazing hair, impeccable teeth, and quote some line from the Bible and get everything fixed.

Hard To Say Good-Bye Award - Ryan Gomes

I am really going to miss the Ryan Gomes era in OKC. Mainly I am going to miss the ever amazing wardrobe that he would break out as he collected yet another DNP-CD.  #RIPGomes

Best Use of Social Media Award - Perry Jones III

PJ3 pulls down this award with he edgy and gritty reenactment of an episode of Maury.

I mean this is some David Fincher type directing here. I look forward to seeing PJ3 at the Oscars later this year.

Best LeBron James Impression Award - Gordon Hayward

That is the only way I can describe what Gordon Hayward did to the Thunder the other night. Kevin Durant was leading one hell of a comeback when Gordon Hayward decided that he had enough and was ready to put the game away. He even went full LeBron by missing two free throws in the 4th quarter with 2:34 left with a chance to push the lead to double-digits. I have not been able to confirm reports that Hayward was in the locker room after the game trimming his hairline to ensure it started somewhere near the crown of his head. If you want to relive the glory that was Gordon Hayward just see below.

LeBron James does awesome stuff Award - LeBron Fires a machine gun

There really isn't much to add to this video. LeBron is pretty damn awesome and lives a pretty awesome life. I heard after shooting this ridiculous machine gun he went to his local hardware store and bought a garage door motor. (WARNING!!! If you haven't finished the final season of Breaking Bad then do not, I repeat....DO NOT click on that hyperlink)

Photo Bomb Award - Quincy Acy and Isaiah Thomas

Any photo bomb that involves one person carrying another person is greatness in motion.

I Must Break You Award - Anthony Davis

Memo to the rest of the NBA. When you see Anthony Davis jumping in the air towards the rim...get out of the way or else you will end up like this.

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Best News Team Award - Dallas Mavericks

There are some pretty awesome things about the Anchorman spoof video the Dallas Mavericks did. Anytime Dirk Nowitzki opens his mouth it usually makes me laugh. So there is that but there are also some very....odd things about this video. First off, the news team is the "Starting 5 News Team" yet there are six players featured in the video. Second, Samuel Dalembert about as stiff as the puppets at ShowBiz Pizza when he is waiving to the camera. And lastly why isn't Jose Calderon wearing a mustache? Clearly that makes him the Brick Tamland of the news team right? That would make total sense to me because I could see Brick having something like this happen to him in the Olympics as well.

Danger Zone Award - Kevin Durant

He dropped 48 points including a game-winning jumper vs. the T-Wolves over the weekend.

Then he followed that up with another 48 point night vs. the Jazz as he tried to with all his might to lead the short-handed Thunder to a comeback victory. Over his last five games the Durantula has averaged 35.6 points, 7.8 rebounds, 5.4 assists, and 2.0 steals.

Walter White Empire Scale:  4 (Last Week 9)

The Thunder is 2-3 in their last five games with a loss at home to the woeful Brooklyn Nets and a road loss to the equally woeful Utah Jazz. I know that the Thunder are still having to readjust to live with Russell Westbrook and for the Jazz game they were without Serge Ibaka and Sefolosha missed much of the second half with an apparent hand/finger injury. But the Jazz are a really bad with a few talented players. The Jazz weren't beating the Thunder as much as they were destroying them for much of the game. It took the Jazz turning the ball over more than Tony Romo and Durant going into "video game with cheat codes" mode to even make it somewhat respectable. For some reason the Thunder have struggled vs. the Jazz in Utah. I have no idea why this is the case. It isn't like the home Jazz crowd has been some insane atmosphere. I know that was not the case in the loss the other night. The crowd was as stiff as Samuel Dalembert doing an Anchorman parody video. Durant can't continue to do everything on his own. Hopefully Ibaka is able to get this flu bug and the bench can get back to the production of a few weeks ago and the Thunder can ascend back to the top team in the Western Conference.

Follow me on twitter @craig_a_brenner

*Justified image via FX Network