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Thunder vs. Mavericks: Bustin' Out the Swiffer, Chompin' Down Some Pizza (2012 NBA Playoffs WCQF Game 4 Preview)

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KD is hungry for pizza, YOU SHOULD BE TOO!!!!
KD is hungry for pizza, YOU SHOULD BE TOO!!!!

GameThread tonight at 6:30! Be there and help us pull out the series victory!

Records: The Dallas Mavericks (36-30) vs The Oklahoma City Thunder (47-19)

Time: 6:30 PM Central Daylight Time

Place: The American Airlines Arena, Dallas, Texas

TV: Turner Network Television

Radio: WWLS The Sports Animal (98.1), ESPN 103.3 KESN-FM

Enemy Blog(s): Mavs Moneyball, The Two Man Game

Previous Matchups: Game 1, Game 2, Game 3 (Thunder Lead Series 3-0)

The Thunder have never swept a team in a playoff series before, yet it could happen tonight against the defending champions, the Dallas Mavericks.

It's an interesting thought, to have such a dramatic one year turnaround. But it's entirely possible. The Mavericks were a disaster, played atrociously, couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo....but, most of all, they were bad. None of their guards were able to step up and get a consistent offensive rhythm, and Marion had an off-game against Durant. As a result, the offense pretty much had to flow through Jason Kidd, who never had a super offense to begin with, much less in his old age, and Dirk Nowitzki, who was overburdened.

Tonight, I'd expect the Mavericks to bounce back. They might be down for the count, but after so many close games, something's gotta give. I don't think it'll be a blowout win by them or anything, but I expect them to maintain near full control throughout.

And I know this preview is skimping a bit. so I'm going to round it out by giving a review of every type of pizza available in Oklahoma City. If you're down for a 'Zza tonight, then I'd recommend Papa Johns. Because it's a classy type of night.



Pizza Hut- The pizza was designed to sell drinks. The bread is dry, buttery, and hard. There's no sauce. The only real upside is stuffed crust.
Domino's- The sauce and cheese are legit, but they took a big step back by putting garlic on their crust. It adds greasyness to an already incredibly greasy pizza.
Little Ceasar's- Everyone's guilty pleasure, whether it be because of the convenience, the cheapness, or the sheer eatability of the pizza. They earn bonus points for carrying out until 11 and for the ability of their pizzas to somehow survive spoilage.
Papa John's- You feel a bit classier when you go to Papa John's. Like, "I was going to just eat some matter to keep me going today, but I decided to step it up a level by getting an artisan pizza from Papa John's." You usually go away disappointed, but it gains bonus points for giving customers the ability to load on toppings for no reason.
Cici's- Two things: All you can eat and strange pizzas like taco, macaroni and cheese, and alfredo. That's about it.
Hideaway- It's good because everything feels more real there. And they offer legit ingredients that other chains dont. But your wallet is going to feel the burn.
Mazzio's- Overpriced and greasy. But they have a very unique sauce and are probably the pizza chain most successful at implementing the "other Italian food" aspect of their store. And I have to get my fix of them once every three months at least.
Fazoli's- The cheese is different, and you get free breadsticks. But there's only like one of these restaurants in OKC, and it's somewhere in Midwest City.
Marco's- Get ready for explosive diarrhea. I lied about every pizza chain having it's own charm. This one just sucks.
Sbarro- Also this one. You pay like 200 dollars for a solitary slice of pizza that's been sitting under a heating lamp since 6 AM, has no sauce, a chewy breadstick, and an unrefillable drink. Advantage? It's "New York Style". Pfft. This place is a disgrace to pizza chains everywhere.


Tombstone- Good if you go for an unusual pizza and have it once every two weeks or less. But it re-heats horribly, the basic pizzas can get bland, and you can get sick of it easily. Their mini deep-dish pizzas are really legit though.
Jack's- Cheap, bigger than Tony's and good. Pretty much the staple of frozen pizza. Probably processed out the wazoo and horrible for you.
Red Baron- Solid, but they keep trying to push crap like "pizza and wyngz". It's good if you want to feel like you're a step above Jack's.
Tony's- Welcome to being a kid. I don't know if any of the ingredients are real, but it tastes okay.
California Pizza Kitchen- It's not pizza, but if you don't want to burn your heart and you want to burn your wallet instead, I guess it's okay.
Digiorno- It's not delivery, someone just took a shit on your doorstep! The abomination of frozen pizzas. Expensive and just a mass of bread.
Freschetta- Imagine Digiorno, except it destroys your mouth with abrasiveness.
Hot Pockets- A bit too greasy and cheesy, but it works out okay. You could go better with Lean Pockets though.
Lean Pockets- Another staple. I feel like they put more sauce and meat in Lean ones. Easy to make, cheap, done eating in a minute with no mess.
Bagel Bites- You have to buy them in trays of 20, because they always overheat in trays of 9. And they're pretty expensive. But they're a good change of pace, and great to eat upside down. They help you to savour the true flavour of pizza, because you have to chew them more.
Pizza Rolls- Just not worth it. Not too expensive, but they're so messy and greasy. Plus, you have to wait for it to cool down so the ingredients don't explode into hot lava on your tongue.

Prediction: Dallas Mavericks 104, Oklahoma City Thunder 99. Also, you'll ignore me completely and order Chinese tonight.

Who's going to win tonight? What's your favourite pizza chain/frozen pizza? Vote in the poll, post a comment!