Beyond the Arc: NBA Off-Season Awards

I call it..."The one who frowns"

As NBA training camps open across the league it is time to look back at the off-season and hand out some hardware.

It is that time of year again people. In a few short weeks we will have preseason games and before you know it will be Halloween and I will be ignoring my wife and kid so I can spend the opening week of the NBA season in front of my TV and my computer.

This off-season have its share of news worthy events. So lets get right to shall we and look back at all the news and moves that were made.

No...Seriously...It Will Be Totally Different This Time Award - Dwight Howard

But seriously....it will be totally different this time for D-12 right? After two plus years (felt more like a decade) of hearing about Dwight Howard and what was going to happen with him in free agency we finally got a resolution. He turned his nose up at the Lakers and bolted for the Rockets to team up with rising super star James Harden. Howard never handled the weight of being "the man" that well and he did not handle the "let Kobe Scream at you into becoming great" role well either. This appears on paper to be a really great landing spot for Howard. He is teams with a dynamic scorer in Harden, an upcoming All-Star in Chandler Parsons, along with many other solid outside shooters for him to kick the ball out for open threes. He really has no more excuses. So look forward to him wanting a trade in two years.

127 Hours Award - Kobe Bryant

I tend to believe that Kobe Bryant isn't really human. The dude has to be from another planet. I don't mean another planet in the way that Adrian Peterson is really from Krypton and he is gets his power from the Earth's yellow sun. But more in that he just does things and thinks in a certain way that us normal humans never think to even do. I mean he LITERALLY tried to pull his tendon up after ruptured his Achilles. I am sure when when Kobe watched 127 Hours he thought the dude was soft for taking that long to get out from under that rock.

Cowboys & Aliens Award - Brooklyn Nets

Remember when you first saw the trailer for Cowboys & Aliens and you saw that it had Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde and that it was directed by Jon Favreau AND Steven Spielberg as Executive Producer and you were like this movie is going to be freaking awesome. Then the movie came out and it flopped so hard. Apparently people really don't want to see an alien western movie. I don't know if people are eager to see two aging Hall Of Fame players teaming up with an underachieving talented team.

Miley Cyrus Twerk Award - LeBron James will opt out and sign with the Lakers

This award is for the most annoying and pointless and over talked and talked to death non story line of the off-season. LeBron to the Lakers is just dumb and the discussion needs to stop right now.

Best Use of Twitter Award - Kevin Durant and Dwyane Wade

First off I love that D-Wade thought it necessary to tweet a note to himself to remind himself to be awesome this season. KD's response was pretty awesome as well. It was simple and direct.

I will say I am a fan of this Durant that has a little edge to him. It shows me that he is not content being seen as the nice guy who is fine being the second best player in the NBA. It shows a lot of fire and competitive drive that is seen by many of the greats in NBA history.

Grumpy Cat Award - Mike D'Antoni

The guy spent all last season perfecting this look. He totally missed the boat by not copyrighting it.

Walter White's M-60 Award - Kevin Love

So the M-60 machine gun is one big ass gun. At the beginning of season 5 of Breaking Bad Walter White is seen buying this big ass gun with the intention of doing some damage to people who have wronged him. He is ready to let everyone feel his wrath and remember his name. If this award does not fit Kevin Love like a glove I don't know what does. Before last season K-Love was coming off a gold medal for Team USA and was talked about as being the best power forward in the entire NBA. Injuries derailed him from ever really having an impact last season. He comes into this season in even better shape than the previous one. He is on a mission and if you see K-Love rolling up in a white Volvo with New Hampshire turn around and go the other way.

Jesse Pinkman Award - Russell Westbrook

Just when you think things can't get any worse for Russell Westbrook, fate finds a way to do so. First he injuries his knee in the second game of the playoffs and is forced to watch his team get man handled out of the playoffs by the Grizzlies. Then he appears to have everything on the right track when another surgery derails him his comeback. He will now miss 4-6 weeks of the regular season. For this award Westbrook is Jesse, Patrick Beverley is Todd and Westbrook's knee is Andrea. Can't you just picture Patrick Beverley walking over to Westbrook and saying, "I'm sorry for your loss."

***

Let's get these games started!

Follow me on Twitter @craig_a_brenner

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